#oneword2017 - PURPOSE

This year I am answering the call for the #oneword2017 challenge. At first, the one word that could sum up my hopes for the year was elusive. What one word would help drive me personally, professionally, and individually? Some #oneword entries from colleagues and friends provided some great inspiration: Esmeralda Sanchez Moseley: Health, Liz Garden: Create, Adam Welcome: Suffer

After running through a number of strong contenders, my #oneword became clear: PURPOSE.

Purpose is defined: the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. Purpose is the why. 

Thinking about the big categories of my life, my purpose or reason is pretty clear. Professionally: to put the students of my school and town first. Personally: to share love with my family and friends.   Individually: to live joyfully by making the most out of every day. It is the day to day details where things get tough. Those purposes are lost or found in the little choices I make every day. So my one word is about putting purpose into my day to day.

Professionally: A few ways I plan to put students first.

1. Spend more time with students. In order to put students first, it is important to be with students in classrooms and on the playground. Since classrooms are always there, it is easy to put visits off when someone else's emergency comes up. My goal will be to honor those visits. 
2. Ask questions. I have come up with two questions that I think will help me in my work. When I am faced with a choice, I like to ask the question, "What is best for our students?" I need to remember to ask this question often. When I need to prioritize my work, I might ask the question, "Why is this important?" I think I often take things on without considering if they are the most important work I could be doing. I hope these might help keep things in perspective.

Personally: 

My personal life is my family. I have a lovely wife and four great kids. Our life, like many, is full and busy. It is wonderful, but exhausting. I find that it is easy to lose focus on what is important and how to show my family I love them. I have two ideas in this area.

1. Compliment my children every day. This should be easy, but I bet I am worse than I think. The big idea is reminding myself how much I love them and how special they are. Every day I want to find something nice to say to each of my kids about how special they are.
2. Do something special for my wife. It often feels like we parent by text. "Can you pick up this?" "Did you remember that?" In all the hustle, it is easy to take your partner for granted. Whether it is a date night, a note, or something else, I will try to do something special and unexpected each week. 

Individually:

This one for me is simple. I have ambitious plans every single day that often get sidetracked by distractions. Even now I am thinking about that next episode I want to watch on TV. How many chapters, exercise routines, walks with the dog, or hours of sleep have been hijacked by time poorly spent? This will be my biggest challenge. Can I put purpose into how I spend my time?

1. Read. I have a huge book list. Goal: get at it at least every other night.
2. Exercise. Running, cycling, soccer, swimming. I love it all. Goal: work out 5 days/week.
3. Memories. My kids love going through our photos and movies. Goal: organize our photos and finish up the movies of our special events so the family can enjoy them.

Don't Underestimate the Real World #cuerockstar

I love technology in my life. I spent this weekend at Skywalker Ranch and met principals for the first time that I have been talking to for months on Voxer and Twitter. I started on Voxer last summer, and my professional network literally exploded. I have spent the last year getting to know people across the country, asking them for advice, sharing ideas. It's been great.

But it is easy to forget the power of a personal real connection.

This video strikes me because the very devices that connect us can also keep us from the people we are with. My own kids have taught me about this. This weekend I traveled to Skywalker Ranch and got to connect with my online friends in real time. I got the chance to:

• Learned with Todd Nesloney. 
• Sat on the patio and enjoyed the sun with Jenn Kloczko. 
• Shared a hug and catching up with Catina Haugen. 
• Commiserated with Todd Schmidt. 
• Resurrect this blog by prompting from Adam Welcome. 

All this happened because I showed up and connected with real people. The most memorable connection will be the walk I took with my people around the Skywalker Lake. In this beautiful setting, I had a real-live conversation with Shayna Peeff. We've been talking on Voxer for months, but walking a trail in the hills above the Ranch was something else. In the end, however you make the connections, make them.

Asher's Recipe

This video was from Asher's "How to ..." book report.

Let the Manipulation Begin

Stefanie has started work again at the hospital, so today the kids and I were on our own. We had a nice day of movies, books, outside play, and we even made some cookies. Kate and I were sitting in the kitchen. I was finishing up cookies, and she was supposed to be finishing up her lunch.
"Dadda, cookie." {Dad, can I please have a cookie?}
"Finish your apples first Kate."
"Dadda, cookie." {No, I mean I want a cookie right now}
"Kate, finish your apples, and you can have a cookie."
Kate now starts to cry and whine.
"Dadda, coooo-kieee."
"Kate, what do you need to do if you want a cookie?"
"Eat apples." Sniffle, sniffle.
"That's right. Eat your apples sweetheart."
"Dadda." (She now points to her cheeks) "Tears." {Look jerko, you're making me cry with your callouse disregard for my cookie desires}
"Alright, Kate. Have a cookie."

Actually, I didn't give in, but I felt like a schmuck for towing the line. How do they learn to do that so young? Brutal.

First Bike Ride

One of the many nice things about the holiday break was a chance to go biking with Asher at Annadel in Santa Rosa. We went downhill biking in Pinecrest, but this was his first real ride with climbs as well as downhill. He got a new mountain bike for his birthday, so he was excited to give it a try.

We decided to ride up a hill called canyon. This is a broad fire road with a lot of rocks. A few portions are steep and challenging. As we road through the park to the start of the trail, Asher had a bit of excitement and worry mixed together. The first hill we hit was wet, rocky, and steep. Asher made it 50 feet up and then had to walk. I had a feeling we were doomed. I figured that one more hill to walk, and he will have had enough "fun." The next one was not as steep, but still rocky and challenging. He powered through and made it to the top. His confidence went up, and he charged the rest of the way to the top of the trail. We stopped at the lake on top, then we made it down the other side.



2.5 hours later, we pedaled through the parking lot to our car and made our way to get some burgers and onion rings. Final verdict on first ride? Big success.

Soccer Practice begins

Soccer practice started a while ago for Asher. He has made the select team, so they started early and practice long. However, we now have Ella and Marley in soccer too, so we have practice all the time.

Tomorrow is opening day, so we should be at the field from sun-up to sun-down. Ella's pictures are at 8, game at 9, Marley's pictures at 11, game at 12, Asher practice at 9 and pictures at 2:30. Should be a sunny day.

It's all in the details.

Kitchen Home Stretch from Jason Sutter on Vimeo.

Seret ambitions

There are a number of secret ambitions we harbor deep in our hearts. Today Asher and I both get to scratch one off. We are leaving to Pinecrest. Every year we spend a week with my in-laws at a cabin by the lake. We have said for the last few years we would mohawk our hair for the vacation. Today we did. It will be funny to see the look and expression of my in-laws when we arrive. My wife was kind of surprised when we came downstairs. She decided she probably should have a tatoo to go with her son having a mohawk, but I think that is a bit over the top.

My only regret, if I wasn't starting a new job in 2 weeks, I would have liked to take the sides down to skin. But life is about compromise, isn't it?

Like Nowhere Else

We went to the beach for the second time this week. Tuesday we hit Dillon Beach, and today we went to Bolinas. I have been musing on two things. First, the fact that there are NO signs to indicate where Bolinas is staggers me. Apparently people in the town don't want visitors, so they tear down any signs that point the way off Highway 1. But the more important thing to me was the spell that comes over kids when they hit the beach. Both times, my kids were got so excited and energized to be at the beach. They were sweet and helpful to me and each other. They didn't complain about anything. And, most amazingly, they got along. They just found stuff to do together and actually enjoyed playing with each other. At Dillon Beach, Asher, Ella, and Marley dug sand crabs for 45 minutes. Then they ran the dunes together for another 30 minutes.

Thinking back to my childhood experiences at the beach, it makes sense. Now I am sure I don't remember all my trips to the beach, but I remember a lot of them. Trips to the beach that should seem inconsequential stick out in my mind. Getting up at 5:30 to gather shells with my babysitter. Getting buried by my cousins. Wrestling with my friends. Body boarding. Surfing (or trying to). Spying on the nudie beach. Even now, just focusing on it floods back more memories than it is reasonable to recall. I think I have come to the conclusion that there is something special about the beach. No duh. But more than that. Somehow it registers deep. Just musing. Alright, here is a picture of the kids.

New Adventures

It has been a busy 2+ months. I know this isn't the proper way to build a story, but I'll cut to the chase. As many of you know, I started working for the Petaluma School District as the principal at McNear Elementary. So the next question is "Why?" I have been planning on this kind of a transition for a while. I got my admin credential 4 years ago so I could move into a position as a principal. This will be a higher level of stress, responsibility, and workload, but it is a chance move forward on my career path. Although that is reason enough, the added budget issues in the state and the lack of a contract with my previous job also were strong influences. Every year except for 1 of the last 7 years I have been with CTAP, I received a pink slip in March. So this position should be much more stable.Still, the first one is my main reason.

McNear Elementary is a school of 411 students in Petaluma. It has a very involved community and a great campus. Our whole family is excited for this new adventure. This week, I intended to send out an email introduction to the parents on the McNear listserv. We decided to include a video as well. The amazing thing is that I told the kids a general idea of what they should do, and they ad-libbed the rest. So hats off to them for their creative endeavors. I'll let you know how the year moves along.

Finding Mr. Sutter from Jason Sutter on Vimeo.

Footsteps

I think the stereo-typical moment of fatherly bliss is the moment a son or daughter announces they want to take over the family business. I remember on parent job dress up day in 4th grade I wore jeans and a white knit button-front sweater. We were supposed to dress up like the job our parents had, and I looked like a 10 year old version of this guy. The other kids were in fireman suits, doctor scrubs, and every other high profile occupation you can imagine. When they asked me, "What are you?" I proudly answered, "I am an insurance salesman!"

So reflecting on all this parental joy, you can understand how touched I was when Asher comes to me and says, "Dad, I want my own webpage. How do I make one?" I think I almost cried. Well, not really, but it was still pretty cool. How indicative of our modern times that my 9-year old decides he is going to make a webpage. Fortunately for him, it is much easier now. I set him up with a blogger site under my account (so I can keep tabs). And he is writing up a storm compared to his usual writing.

If you get a chance, visit his site at http://ashersutter.blogspot.com and give him some props in the form of comments. Everytime he sees someone commented on his blog, he writes a little more. So egg him on; teach a kid to write.

So THAT's Why They Do It...

Stefanie is back in school. She currently spends every Friday in a classroom in Santa Rosa to get back into "nursing shape." So some Friday's Marlene comes to watch the kids, and some times I take off work.

Today I took off work. The kids are on Easter break, so we all got up around 8 and started the day. In the spirit of full disclosure I always have the Mr. Mom thing with Michael Keaton playing in my head when I am on for the whole day. Needless to say, I had an agenda. Dutch babies for breakfast. Friedman Brothers hardware to get the parts to hook up the bathroom sink. Back home for Kate's nap and painting. Off to Napa Home Depot in the afternoon (30 minutes each way) to get the parts Friedman Brothers didn't have.

As an aside, let me discuss our media policies because they do have relevance to my current thoughts. Stefanie and I are cautious about some media. Our kids are well versed on the computer and have a plentiful collection of DVDs. We have a PlayStation 2 and a Wii. However, we limit the amount of time they get in a given week on all these media. The girls watch maybe 2 hours worth of TV each week, if that. Asher mostly only plays video games--usually 2-3 hours on the weekend. So when Asher asked for a Game Boy years ago, we said, "Absolutely not." I had visions of fighting with him at the dinner table, at the breakfast table, when we were walking through the store, while visiting relatives at holidays, while... you get the picture. "Put that Game Boy down!"

So, back to today. As I made breakfast, Asher asked if Sean could come over. Sure. He was at our house 10 minutes later, joined us for breakfast, and headed to the hardware store with us. Everything went pretty well. At little rambunctiousness in the store, that is to be expected. We made it back home, put Kate down, and asked the kids to play outside after I fed them lunch. 2 hours later, Kate wakes up, and we set off for errand #2 -- Home Depot.

Without making the story much longer, I just about reached the end of my rope. In the store, in the car, or in the parking lot, these 5 kids were all over the place and all over each other. We finally make it to the car to start the 30 minute drive home, and I am thinking, "If there was only a way to tone them down a few notches." Then it hit me, what I need is a few Game Boys! So even though I always thought I wanted my kids to talk to me in the car instead of playing a pocket video game, I realized today that there is a good reason so many kids have one.

The Biggest Fool

I had a meeting this morning at the Contra Costa County Office of Education. I am out the door at 7:30 and make my way through Vallejo and Benicia to Pleasant Hill. Somewhere in the middle, I get a call from Stefanie. The conversation goes something like this:
"Hey Jas."
"Hey Stef, what's up?"
"You know how I wasn't feeling well? I think it is morning sickness. I want to get a pregnancy test."

OK, let's take a moment for some background. Stef doesn't start up with her womanly cycles until she stops breastfeeding, so we were expecting this soon. I was aware of April Fool's day, but this struck so close to home that it didn't even register as a possible prank. Back to the conversation.

"Really. [silence]"

So Stefanie tells me she will get one later. She lets me go to my meeting and sweat it out. I call her back at a break, but she said, "I haven't had time to get one yet." So I am doing all this thinking. Where will this one go? If it is another girl, how am I going to pay for 4 weddings? The one question I didn't ask is how did this happen. I think I have a handle on that now. In any case, at 1:30, I call her a third time, and she finally lets me know that this is a prank. Obviously, this was a "good one." More surprising because Stefanie is a terrible liar. But I was left with a question for the rest of the afternoon. At what point does a prank go too far? This one certainly put a toe up against the line.

Talent Show

Talent Show 2009 from Jason Sutter on Vimeo.
Ella and her friends just performed in the school talent show. As you can see, they got the crowd to participate pretty well. Ella was excited about this show for weeks.

Little Surprises

An interesting thing happened this morning. I woke up like usual. Asher woke up like usual. Marley woke up like usual. Ella woke up, which is unusual, but that isn't the interesting thing. All my kids made their beds, got dressed, ate breakfast, and were ready for school early without any coaxing. What brought on this change? A chore chart. We charted their chores and told them we would figure out an allowance later. They are all over it. This has got to be worth 4 times what we will end up paying. If I only knew, I would have made the chart years ago.

The Longest Day of the Year

I used to believe the longest day of the year was the summer solstice. However, this weekend that belief was dashed as I learned the longest day of the year is in fact the play-a-thon for Valley of the Moon Little League. This was the first game of the year for our 8, 9, and 10 year-old boys. We arrived at 7:30 am for 6 one-hour games. We didn't make it. 13 boys, 5 hours, 12 innings that kind of math is a full day for anyone.

Asher spent a part of the day at his favorite position, short stop. He caught a fly and made a play to first. You can see in the picture, he also spent some time at catcher -- 1 inning. Near the end of the inning, he caught a ball in the stomach where he wasn't well protected and decided his catching career was over. You can see in the picture above why he got hit. He was a bit spooked by being so close to a batter and kept standing up. He said, "I'll play outfield or sit on the bench, but I am not getting behind the plate again." His strong suit is infield anyway, so it is probably for the best. He hit well going 6 for 6 on the day but was a bit disappointed there was no stealing. Well, starting the next game, he will be happy to see that stealing is on the menu.

I guess what really made the day long aside from organizing and maintaining 13 over-excited but ehausted boys is that we had picture day the next day. It made it feel like one long day. Nothing is worse than running boys through pictures. Thank God it is done.

Let the Games Begin

We are officially entering baseball season. Tomorrow is Asher's play-a-thon. It is 24 innings in one day. I doubt we'll make it. Ella starts softball next weekend. I am the assistant coach on both teams, so although it is easier than being the head coach, it is a lot of practices and games to attend. Asher will be playing shortstop and catcher.

I feel horrible for Ella. Her first game is next weekend as well as pictures. Unfortunately, Asher and I were given Sharks tickets for Christmas on the same day. So that is a bit of a pickle.

On the lighter side, Ella and I made a podcast last night. She wanted to make a movie about her doll house. She loves it so much that she wanted to share it with the world. And she was adamant that it should be on YouTube. So now I'll share it with you.


Ella's Doll House from Jason Sutter on Vimeo.

Overwhelmed by inertia

It has been too long. I have had many things to write about. So many in fact, that I never did any. I kept thinking I would need a big chunk of time to get caught up, which I never had. Instead, I didn't post anything. I don't have more time, but I decided to do what I can.

First off, Ella just turned 7. She had a great birthday. 14 girls for the first half of the day. She just started softball, so one thing we got her was a helmet with pony-tail hole and a new softball. As you can see, she really likes it. She decided to go to sleep with the thing. We haven't had much chance to play yet with the weather, but we should have more practices soon.

The other thing that Ella is doing is Daisies. She had her first award ceremony the other night. She was so proud. It has been tough because Asher is usually the one with stuff like this. Fortunately for Ella, she has some "things" now too.


Marley loves her sisters and has been enjoying preschool. She cracks us up with her zany antics. Her new favorite thing is skating in the house. Since we don't have any floors, that works out fine.

Asher is all about baseball. He starts his first game on Saturday. He will be playing shortstop, catcher, and pitcher.

House update:
We are a few weeks away from our kitchen. We are waiting on the cabinet doors. We also have to put in the backsplash, but the doors are keeping us from moving in. The counters went in nicely. If I had it to do over again... well, speculating does no good. Thank goodness we are close.

Superbowl

What a heartbreaker. Sure, the game was close. We were rooting for Arizona. But that isn't why I felt compelled to write about the Superbowl. I spent this Superbowl sitting with Asher at a party. There were a dozen of his friends playing outside and up on the playstation, but we sat together and watched the whole game. Excited about each advance for the Cardnials, commiserating about each downturn. This is the first time Asher has been so invested in a game on TV. We watched the entire game together until the tension got too great with 4 minutes left and he had to leave. He came back once they went ahead. With their change of fortune, he was ecstatic and gleeful. He hugged his friends and danced around the room. Then the fateful last 2 minutes. All his joy seeped out as Pittsburgh marched down the field for the lead. It was poignant to see how bad he wanted it. When Pittsburgh scored, he fought back the tears and asked if we could go. With 35 seconds left, we stayed, because you never know... But it wasn't to be.

Today will be memorable. We had such a nice father-son time, but his heart was broken with the outcome. Bittersweet.

Overdue Update

Two months! That is a long time. But I have been occupied, so it was tough to find the time. Here is the run down, two months in two paragraphs or less.

November is always busy since we have 4 birthdays, coming into Christmas, we were pretty worn out. But we had a great time with our family renting out Pump it Up. The kids will always remember having the whole place to themselves and their cousins. I think Jeremy and I will always remember going at each other with the boxing gloves. Kate is walking and attempting to exert her will. Marley loves preschool and is just a bundle of energy. Ella went to Arizona with her Grandmother to see Stef's cousin Carley, and had the time of her life. Girls night every night, toenail painting, dress-up, they had a blast. Asher is into baseball. It is humorous to me to see how quickly the sports shift depending on the season. Asher didn't touch his baseball glove since the last game last year. He was all soccer. Then even a week before baseball tryout, it was all soccer and football. "Dad, I don't know if I really like baseball anymore." Tryouts come, and every second since has been about baseball cards, baseball magazines, and most of all, playing catch with me or by himself in the backyard. Today we actually went and bought a new glove. He probably would have slept with it tonight, but he asked me to put his name on it instead. Ella just finished her first grade play. She had the lead role as a narrator and loved it. Here is the video for it.

Ella's First Grade Play from Jason Sutter on Vimeo.

It has been 2 months, so a house update is in order. Right after the last bit of work (stucco, windows, counters), we tore out the downstairs bathroom and laundry room. It seems rather... well... stupid, I know. Why start something new with so much unfinished. However, we had reasons. Probably not the best, but reasons. We had a debris pile to get rid of before it rains. Since we knew we were tearing those things out this year, it made sense to do it when we had the debris box. Secondly, the laundry room still had a rat-ish smell when it rained, so we guessed there was rat nests, poop, etc in the walls. On this second point I was a little worried that I missed my guess when we started ripping stuff out, but at the last piece, I struck paydirt. The smell was located. It must sound funny to be excited about finding rat remains in your wall, but understand that means I can get it out. Under the landing in the staircase on the other side of the wall was what looked like a rat disco lounge before they were all poisoned. So there was a lot to clean out. I know I am going into great detail, possibly too much on this point, but please understand that I am excited. I can confidently say that our house no longer smells like rat poo when it rains or gets too hot and sweltery. That is a good feeling, let me assure you. So, I drywalled both rooms immediately and all was back together before Christmas. The cabinets are all finished. I am staining them in the evening and will put on the last coat tomorrow night. As for the counters... who knows. But I think we are close. I have finished staining them, and they are now in the garage waiting to be sealed. I expect to place the cooktop into place on Tuesday, and start hanging cabinets next week. Look, here they are in my garage. So a New Year's date was not realistic, but Valentines is actually possible.